Mange Mianzi (Face)
Strengthen Relationship
Managing mianzi is an integral part of Chinese etiquette. It can be so important that Chinese may sweep aside business to keep it.
Managing mian zi, however, is delicate.
Click here to read about definition of mianzi.
Do not take ‘yes’ as an answer
Whether it is for your mainzi or theirs, many Chinese prefer to say 'yes', even when their intention is to say 'no'.
When managing mian zi, it is important for you to find out the true answer. You'd be able to do it by observing how the 'yes' is expressed. There is a subtle difference between a real 'yes' and a 'no' embedded in the answer 'yes'.
Mei Wenti
Many foreigners would go away interpreting the phrase as ‘there is no problem (wen ti)’. This can be a grave misunderstanding. In fact, the phrase often means ‘problems exist, but they can be overcome’. If you do not look into the problems squarely, nevertheless, your negotiation could be heading to an impasse.
For the same token, when you're seeking feedback, do not be overjoyed simply because the comments are positive. Chinese are forthcoming with praises, especially when they are with guests. Even when a negative feedback is to be given, it is often delivered after a preamble of positive comments.
While Chinese may not give you a direct 'no' answer, it does not mean that you cannot seek clarification. In fact, the act of clarification could signal that you have got the message, allowing them to give you more thorough explanation without causing you to lose face.
For that reason, to make things easier for all parties, in business you may not want to get the most senior person to be directly involved in negotiation, especially at preliminary stages. This will allow both parties to have room for maneuver. The most senior may say 'no' through his colleagues, saving face for one or both parties.
Click here for a video tutorial on meiweiti
Criticize with subtlety
Note that while being candid is good, you will have to exercise it with care. This is especially when you are in a place like China.
It does not mean that Chinese do not appreciate candid comments. It is just that you'll have to do it with sensitivity -- by observing the mianzi.
For example, many Chinese -- especially the government officials -- are proud of their country and and heritage. While they may criticize their own country and people, do not join in! It is all right for them to talk negatively on such issues. But when a guest does so, it can be embarrassing or face-losing.
No answer as an answer
If your Chinese friend agrees to comes back with an answer, but do not do so, do not be annoyed.
It could be that he is giving you face.
For example, if you ask your supplier to lower the price and they don't agree with you. Instead of embarrassing you by saying 'no', they could give an excuse by saying that they would consult their bosses and get back to you. When they never come back, it could well be a polite way of saying 'no'.
Heed the rank, title and age
As mianzi is important, it is important that you study the ranks and titles of the people you meet. This is especially the case when a formal discussion is to be held.
Respect the age difference as well. For thousands of years, Chinese have been taught to respect people more senior in terms of age. A difference of two years in age between two brothers, for example, could mean that the younger brother would have to be deferential to the elder brother -- purely for the sake of age difference.
Careful about the joke you crack
Due to the cultural difference, refrain from cracking jokes until you're quite sure that you would not cause someone to lose face. If you're in doubt, it's better to err on the right side by not telling any joke at all.
Saying ‘no’ could well mean ‘yes’
Due to the concerns for mianzi, your Chinese friends may behave in a manner contradicting to what they actually feel.
For example, they may strongly reject your gift or help, while the actual intention is to accept it. This again is to save face, and you’ll have to be sensitive about what exactly is going on, or you may embarrass them further.
Appreciate humility and humbleness
Chinese see humility and humbleness as a virtue. For example, when you are treated to a sumptuous feast, your Chinese host would keep apologizing that food is ‘rough’ and 'inadequate'. Don't be alarmed! This is an expression of humility and humbleness, and a way to keep the mianzi.
Remember, you don’t have to finish everything -- or you may make them lose face!
You are being assessed
You should be aware that your Chinese friends may assess you on the way you handle face-keeping matters. This is not because they want you to be hypocritical. Rather, harmonious relationship is something they value highly, and if you are not sensitive to such matters, you could embarrass them indirectly in front of other people. This is not what they want!
Go back to the definition of mianzi.
Read about guan xi.
Read more about the Chinese mindset.
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